The Sugar diaries… or sweetness interrupted

As so many people have experienced this week, this month, this year these incredible situations that continues to test our resilency, yesterday, was my reckoning. 

After a particularly stressful period at work and concerns revolving around the current gas crisis in Haiti and the physical risks my other team members are taking to ensure that we have “enough” fuel to keep medical services functioning. With the canopy of fear… no weight of responsibility we as a team share knowing that our patients entrusted their lives in our hands and we may fail them if we can not find a way to overcome the obsticals that keep appearing as if in a game of chess, daring us to plan. 

Yesterday, I felt me, Marc, starting to slip away, becoming someone I did not recognize or like in my attempt to stress the critical nature of what we are facing to others in order to “encourage” them to make concessions and sacrifices. When that still small voice reminded me that we are all in this together, stop, reflect, don’t complain, try to understand, take a deep breath and pray. 

Pray for the country, but more so  pray for that I remain constant, not allowing circumstances to change me but strengthen me. Enjoy my family and draw strength from them and remember to take time to step back, meditate and heal.  

So in my my quiet place while enjoying a rare hot shower and thinking about the day, reflecting on how I could have acted or reacted better, determined to act differently, I decided to break out the lavender sugar scrub, a small birthday treasure given to my by one of my sisters. There was such a peace that decended on me  and a determination to allow that peace to transend the next day. 

Then… this morning after morning prayers and listening to the most calming music as I stepped into the shower I was greeted by a host of black ants gathering on my wall. After getting over my horror I proceed to clean the wall and follow the trail to identify the source of what attracted them,  and yes,  it lead me directly to the Lavender Sugar Scrub… sweetness interrupted!

Lesson learned… NO sugar scubs

It happened again

So, it happened again!  After a year and a half of not flying the first flight I get on a flight there is a medical emergency. As we are boarding the plane I am just about to get to my seat when I hear behind me “sir are you ok ?” “Maybe he is hypoglycemic” I turn my head and two seats behind me is a man in obvious distress. From that point on I forgot about putting my bag in the overhead bin, flung my purse on the chair across from me and pushed passed the people in line to get to this gentleman. 

As I reached this elderly gentlemen’s side, I grabbed his wrist to get a pulse and saw that he had fine tremors, while taking his pulse I searched with my other hand to get his ID. As I called his name he made eye contact with me, as if pleading for help, at that point my heart dropped into my stomach. I scanned his face and saw his pallor and discoloration in his tongue and literally yelled out for oxygen, within seconds he started having a seizure. His pulse that was initially rapid became thready, to difficult to find within minutes, we (3 other persons joined me at this time) quickly got him on the floor of the airplane and started resuscitation. 

I will not go into the details of the resuscitation but we worked on him for a while knowing that this was someone family and they would be waiting for him at the airport. 

This happened several weeks ago and to this day I can not forget how his eyes locked on mine for a brief second. Unfortunately he did not survive but It is my hope that even for a that second he knew that he was not alone. 

The little things

Sweet... Today our new beds just got here, 44 bed with the mattress.  If you are wondering what the big deal is, let me help you out.  In the begining of this week we had a patient come in complaining of abd and lower back pain, about an hour after admission, she and last week we got another shipment of stuff.

On my way

Captains log... LoL I always wanted to start with that... I am sitting here in the airport waiting for my flight to board for Haiti. Ever since I told my family and my friends that I am going to Haiti the one common question that I got was ... "are you excited" that is of course after the " are you crazy". Just to let you know a little about me, I am a traveler, not just a person that likes to travel. I think I am the ADD variety of travelers. I love traveling with a purpose for the most part (seriously I am not trying to claim sainthood, I just get board sitting around doing nothing)... told ya I have ADD. O.K . back to the original purpose of this blog. Am I excited? yes and no. I am excited about what could be done, the prospects of that lie ahead, but I am also terrified of others expectations of me. Usually when I am asked if I am excited I have no idea how to answer, I act as if it is not a big deal, while inside I am terrified of being a disappointment. Bet you did not expect that? With all seriousness, internally I am freaking out so any words of encouragement are welcomed, prayers are also solicited ...or better yet get your bottom out here and help me. :)

Haiti... It has been several hours later and I am finally in Haiti. I met some awesome people in the airplane... man I realize that I love to talk. Thank God I had an uneventful flight, love going places but hate flying. After arriving and navigating my way through the sea of bags haphazardly cast about in baggage claim I finally made it outside only to be greeted... no bombarded by men willing to "assist"me with my bags, all for a small fee of course. Seriously, I cannot find any fault with them ... these men are only trying to make a living, it's just that having five people offer to assist me with two bags is a little much. Anyhow, after waiting in the airport for what seemed to be an eternity (actually it was only one hour... slight exaggeration for dramatic affect), The hospitals driver and I finally found each other... Have I failed to mention IT IS HOT and HUMID here... I'm just saying...

I have been here for almost one hour and after having an extensive discussion with some of the volunteer staff I have think I have identified one area that I can begin to work on... how I will start, I have no idea... but by the act of reading this you have been drafted as my support staff, I am expecting full participation.... Please... : ) I will update later after I have had some time to investigate.

Day one of Haiti adventure... also known as the Introduction

R U ready for our adventure?

Peppaseed

Captains log 2019... Actually mommy’s log

Yep! Guys I am a mommy. It has been a while since I have last posted (understatement) and there have been a lot of changes. 

In February 2017 my life changed drastically. We decided to have carnival for the kids in the pediatric ward at the hospital I work for 

when I was handed a baby boy to hold...big trouble!  I do that all the time but then one of my staff members told me “li abandone ” he is abandoned. Looking into his eyes he smiled into my heart and the firstwords out of my mouth were “oh Damn”. This was love at first site and I was not ready, or so I thought. 

Negative I & O

 Today has been a negative I & O day. No breakfast, no lunch and just getting home for " dinner" only have strength to make a PB&J sandwich. 

Lol how is it that every conversation I have had today with my team members have started with "we have a problem". 

At least our program assistant (trying to make me feel better) started her statement at 7:30pm this evening with "I know there have been a lot of big problems today but we just have a small problem". 

I am sooooo glad it is Friday.

Sweet and Salty

Today was a sweet and salty day... we had our (3h) meeting with all of our nursing staff which I can say  was a challenging meeting.  Of course we discussed the usual (salary, promotion, benefits), congratulated a few staff and services on a job well done. The hardest part of the meeting was when we had to talk to the staff about negative behavior patterns and several other incidents that occurred during the month.

At the end of the meeting one of our nurses pulled me to the side as I was walking out of the room to say "Ms. Marc, did I ever tell you how much we like you"... That made my day after this meeting.  

Sometime you never know how much you need those words of affirmation.

It as a good day after all.

A Life Well Lived

January 6th my Grand-mom took her last breath. She lived 99 years and 8 months!

As I write this blog tears well up in my eyes and this tension fills my heart.  The tears...yes, for a life that has been lost but more because of the moments that are forever lost to me.  Choosing to live a life so far away from family means that I choose to miss the births and birthdays, the showers and the weddings, the dedications, the family dinners, the campouts (or glamping), the movie night or the game night, the shopping sprees (which I can do without) followed by the lunch dates with my sisters, the climbing into bed to my mom to talk about the day or the wrestling  with my nieces, nephews and small cousins (heck even the big ones).

Choosing to live so far away from family mean I chose to miss out on making memories,  that I chose to miss the one-on-one time with my grand-mom, who was a vivacious woman filled with love and compassion, the spark of life and a wicked sense of humor.    

Living so far actually never has to be a choice to miss out rather it's an opportunity to reach out and make sure even though I am not there in person I can find other creatives ways to be there.  An opportunity to not  allow fatigue,  the frustrations of the day and the "inconvenience" of time be the reasons or really excuses to miss out of real life and time with the ones I love.

When my grandma took her last breath I lost something precious...I lost time.

It is my desire to not miss any more time with the rest of my family.

And I'm Back...

Shoot forgot my password and the link to my blog but now I AM BACK, hope you hang in there with me on this adventure I call life

Wisdoms cry

I have been studying about wisdom this week in the book of Proverbs. This afternoon I had to really pull on what I learned about being quick to listen, willing to understand and slow to speak and more so I had to pray about how I would respond as I held meetings to address some issues with a few staff members.

The meeting started off tense and I was praying about how to clearly address the issues and not just confront them but more importantly how to listen and not just respond thus putting into practice what I read earlier that day. Happy to report that within 5 mins of the meeting it became more of a brainstorming session to address some of the issues we identified and ultimately ended as a sort of team rally.

Not an easy day, but it was a great day.

Code Blue....No Wait ..Code Milk

What The Mess...

So I am spending a quiet evening at home (finally) when I hear a tapping at the gate and someone calling my name (so goes that quiet night) the security guard  say that Madame  Lareche is calling for either Dr. Wise or myself and said it was and emergency ( we have a 27 week premature baby in the unit and so if Madame Lareche says it's and emergency it really is). So I quickly change into scrubs run to Joe and Anna's house telling them there is an emergency in NICU, and took off running to the hospital.

hmm... as I run through the hospital to get to the NICU, past the guard that warns me to stop running or  I will fall (it had rained earlier and hospital has tile floors), so I do what anyone would do at that point ...I ignore him and kept on running to NICU cause it's and emergency right??? I get to the NICU  where it is suspiciously quiet and madame Lareche is calmly walking away from the incubator... she opens her mouth and tells me "bebe a pa gen lèt" ....... WHAT THE MESS !!! she says that the baby does not have any milk,,, important but not an emergency.

Apparently the guard decided to add emergency to the message.

Soon after I arrive Joe and Anna get to the NICU to assist in the "code" but I had to break it to them that it was not a code Blue but a code Milk ... yeah we just had our exercise for the night .

Don't get me wrong I am happy that it was not a real emergency but dang it my heart can not take this kind of excitement.

Until next time

Blessings
'
Marc J  (S.A.L.T)

Gerilon's Miracle

For several months the Haiti Adventist Hospital team has been working to get a young man with a facial tumor some help.  One of our visiting orthopedic surgeon Dr. Bibiloni suggested bringing him to Puerto Rico for surgery.  A "get Gerilon to Puerto Rico  team was formed". Project Medishare made it possible for us to get the CT SCAN, Dr. Bibiloni arranged everything on the Puerto Rico end for Gerilon and his mother to get a visa and for his time in Puerto Rico during his recuperation from his surgery. 

With unfaltering devotion Marie Paul was able to call in some favors at the local television and radio stations to raise money for Gerilon.  With the aid of our CMO Dr. Geneus, Gerilon and his mom were able to get a passport in short ime frame.  Haitian citizens from all over called into the stations pledging their support of this young man.

Below is a copy of an e-mail Marie Paul sent me on Gerilon's first day of surgery

We were received like royalty, the First Lady of Puerto Rico, Lucé Vela and the Secretary of State Kenneth McClintock as well as Dr. Bibiloni, Dr. Carlos Mellado, other doctors and dignitaries were
at the airport to receive us. We were escorted throughout the trip by Homeland Security Officers, TSA, and afforded other privileges reserved for diplomats. All this for a young man from Haiti who lives in a small house without electricity, running water, and indoor plumbing. God is so good and He does things in a grand way. Our airline tickets were donated by a travel agency in Haiti and they sent us first class, Gerilon got to meet the pilots and sit in the cockpit of the plane. 

 Gerilon had his first procedure done today, a tracheostomy ( a hole in his throat to help him breath).. He is spending the night in Intensive Care and going back to his room tomorrow. The First lady of PR, Luce Vela, came to see him today after his surgery, she's awesome. I think she's going to have him on a talk show. The removal of the tumor is scheduled for next Thursday morning.

I am sending you a picture of Geri right after the tracheostomy, and one with his mom.

This young man has several months of surgery ahead of him if you would like to help financially please contact me at ahihaiti.programs@gmail.com and I will place you in contact with the appropriate people.  


Most of all please pray for this young man, his family and the doctors doing the surgery.  

P. Harley Davidson

Sabbath afternoon

On Wednesday we were given the one of the best news, his head ultra-sound exam came back clear.  Davidson is becoming more interactive, playful and aware of his surroundings. He eats like there is no tomorrow, at the physician's office he threw a fit because his food was finished...hmm that has to stop.

He is becoming a very spoiled little boy with all the attention he is getting from the staff and us (he has a lot of aunties and uncles). This child refuses to sleep unless I hold him and sing him a song.  

     

Ted and I went to the social services office today to inquire about the steps for adoption, They denied my request to be his guardian.  We were told that he had to go to an orphanage for at least 6 months before they would release him for adoption.  Because of some situations that have happened with child trafficking they have changed the laws, so I will not be able to take care of him while we are waiting for him to be adopted. 

I am both sad and relieved; I will miss him when he goes but we have to get him out of the hospital, he is getting sick again and there are several kids in the peds department that have meningitis.  We are looking into several orphanages to see who will take good care of him, so far the only one that I have found is about 2 hours away from me.  :(

HAH's First EMT Graduates

Hôpital Adventiste EMT Graduates 

The Adventist Hospital in Diquine has four new EMT's as of Friday.  Today I feel like a proud mom x 4.  For eight weeks our students left their jobs, their families, and their comfort to attend the EMT program, an 8 week course provided by EMPACT-Northwest.   Our students left their homes before 5am in order to reach school by 8 am, missed meals, reaching home sometimes after 7pm.  Even on days where there were demonstration and people were cautioned to not travel on the roads, our students refused to miss a day of school.  Out of the several weeks of demonstrations our students only missed 1 day, that's it.

They took motorcycle taxis in the rain, endured injuries and still made it to class without complaint.
To explain how proud I am of Exume, Josette,  Pierre, and Rutza, I do not think I can begin to put it into words.  Every Sunday they would come of their own accord to the hospital for tutoring, often staying 5 to 8 hours in order to grasp the concept.   Every week they made a pact among themselves not to give up, to finish what they started in order to help change our ED and to make a difference in Haiti.

We often speak of how difficult it may be when we try to change an existing system, and how EMT's are not yet known in Haiti.  We often speak of the challenges that they will face, but more so we speak of their desire, their determination to help things change.

I am so proud of our EMT's, If they are Haiti's future, we are on the right tract.  

Mòn Dèyè Mòn-->Mountains Beyond Mountains

One of my favorite books is "Mountains Beyond Mountains" written about Paul Farmer and the work that he has done in Haiti, by Tracy Kidder.  After living here in Haiti for almost two years I finally understand what that means.  In Creole we say  Mòn Dèyè Mòn, meaning that behind every obstacle there is another one. I have learned to celebrate the success of overcoming a challenge but also to be prepared for the next one to come.

Matthew 17:20   And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall say unto this mountain, Remove from here to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. 

I see a lot of celebrating in my future :)

MAMMA MIA!

I am a mommy!!! well sort of... About two weeks ago a baby boy was abandoned at the hospital, the nurse who was on that night ran to where my room use to be in the hospital to tell me about him and to ask me what to do...???? 

1. WHAAAAT !!! I don't know. 
2. Thank goodness we moved and I no longer live in the hospital

The next morning she found me and ask to take a look at him (sucker). Yup that is what I am, he is too cute. Immediately they began trying to get me to adopt him, it's like the hospital banded together and formed a get Marc to adopt this baby, they even put my name on his medical paper work.

We have been worried about him because the "father" said that he was a year old but he appears to be 7-8 months old and has some developmental delays. For the past week I have been taking him home with me for a few hours to give him bonding time and play therapy.

When he first came to us he did not respond to anything at all. He did not cry when left, or made any facial expressions or even move from the spot we put him. PT has been working with him (thank you Emily) and we have been giving him lots of good loving (thank you Nadine, Sirko, Amy and the awesome peds nurses). So today he laugh, turned over on his own several times, babbled, played with is toes, and sat up for a while on his own. I know that this seems like a simple thing, but for a baby that was not reactive and displayed behaviors that are consistent with being abandoned emotionally long before he was abandoned physically, for me it is a big thing and I rejoice.

The nurses are still on the "get Marc to adopt wagon" God will provide some parents for him but for now I am happy to be is temporary mommy.

So what does this mean? It means I get the phone calls when he is out of diapers , water or food, it means that I get the calls when a new prescription or lab test is ordered. It means that I get the phone calls when he does something new and amazing like, roll over, laugh, drinks his whole bottle, or starts to play with his toys. It means that I am get the pleasure of being his mommy.... well for now.

Marc

I Have Learned

I have to learn, when the first words out of a doctors mouth when asked to do a transport is "the patient is stable" QUESTION that statement. At 10 am Saturday morning I was asked to get ready to go on a transport, at 1pm one of the docs called me out of church for the "stable" patient transport.... HAH, when you walk into the room and they are bagging the patient SHE IS NOT STABLE. 

[I have to say that I am very proud of our soon to graduate EMT students (they are the 3rd group of EMT students to graduate in all of Haiti). As we were walking into the ER she immediately went to the patient's bedside to assist.]

We bagged the patient all during the transport to General Hospital. I have to thank our driver Michael who was awesome, almost killed us several times but he made a 2 to 3 hour trip (because of traffic) in 1 hour.

When we arrived she coded twice, Every time we stabilized her our (awesome) doc tried to leave. I was like heck no, you are not leaving me with this patient, ( I think the man was trying to kill me).
We continued to bag the patient for 2 hours after we arrived at General , finally we stabilized her enough to get her on dialysis.

Lesson for the day
1. Always assume a patient is unstable until you have verified for yourself
2. Make sure the your spare oxygen tank is not locked (forgot to tell you they placed a locked O2 tank in the truck).
3. An awesome team can make or break a code
4. NEVER let the doctor leave the room after he says "she is stable now" !!!!
5. Take a candy or granola bar (I was so hungry).

Question: How many people do you think it takes to assess a patient?

Answer: 3 

Had a patient that came into the ER today with severe diarrhea and vomiting (simple assessment right, NO) The problem, the patient only spoke Portuguese and the doctor speaks French or Creole (see the problem). We needed three people to assess this patient; The doctor, speaking French/Creole, me, translating to a friend in English, Her, translating to the patient in Portuguese and repeating the process in reverse. That was the longest assessment ever.

SO you want to know the kicker, as she leaves to get somethings to admit him to the hospital, I was left with Him to do his admission paper work, problemmmmm, or so I thought. I asked him is he understood any Spanish so I could fill out the paper work, he responds to me "oh, I rather speak English. WHAT THE MESS, that bugger spoke English the whole time.

Sunday ...

Sunday: spent 8 hours teaching (to some awesome students) with one 15 minute break 

Monday: woke up at 5:30 -worked till 11, no breakfast, a quick lunch and a Bagel with 

hummus for dinner

Tuesday: woke up at 5:am, but dreamt about work all night long...quick Bagel for breakfast, I did eat lunch, no time for dinner...wait does a Bagel count? and spending the rest of the night on call for a post-op patient... In all of this I ask one question...

 WHAT THE MESS IS TAKING FRIDAY SO LONG!!!

The End is What Really Matters

You know when you start the day and you have a feeling it's going to be one of those days where you never stop moving... well welcome to my Thursday... it all started with a 6:20 am call. Here are the highlights.

Challenges at the start of the day 
1. abdominal pain that ended up being appendicitis, that ended up perforating (one of the volunteers), 
2. convincing a physician to doing a CT scan for us for a cancer patient,
3. and looking for O- blood for a patient with a hemoglobin of 4 (impossible)

Results at the end of the day

1. Successful appendectomy, just finished recovering the pt,
2. batting eyelids successful, patient had the CT Scan
3. got a call to go pick up the blood to day at 4 pm after we were told it was not going to happen.

No breakfast, no lunch, no dinner, but still full
Finally getting to bed...I wonder what tomorrow will bring... ehh scratch that .... Whatever tomorrow brings, with God I know we can handle it.