Question: How many people do you think it takes to assess a patient?

Answer: 3 

Had a patient that came into the ER today with severe diarrhea and vomiting (simple assessment right, NO) The problem, the patient only spoke Portuguese and the doctor speaks French or Creole (see the problem). We needed three people to assess this patient; The doctor, speaking French/Creole, me, translating to a friend in English, Her, translating to the patient in Portuguese and repeating the process in reverse. That was the longest assessment ever.

SO you want to know the kicker, as she leaves to get somethings to admit him to the hospital, I was left with Him to do his admission paper work, problemmmmm, or so I thought. I asked him is he understood any Spanish so I could fill out the paper work, he responds to me "oh, I rather speak English. WHAT THE MESS, that bugger spoke English the whole time.