After a particularly stressful period at work and concerns revolving around the current gas crisis in Haiti and the physical risks my other team members are taking to ensure that we have “enough” fuel to keep medical services functioning. With the canopy of fear… no weight of responsibility we as a team share knowing that our patients entrusted their lives in our hands and we may fail them if we can not find a way to overcome the obsticals that keep appearing as if in a game of chess, daring us to plan.
Yesterday, I felt me, Marc, starting to slip away, becoming someone I did not recognize or like in my attempt to stress the critical nature of what we are facing to others in order to “encourage” them to make concessions and sacrifices. When that still small voice reminded me that we are all in this together, stop, reflect, don’t complain, try to understand, take a deep breath and pray.
Pray for the country, but more so pray for that I remain constant, not allowing circumstances to change me but strengthen me. Enjoy my family and draw strength from them and remember to take time to step back, meditate and heal.
So in my my quiet place while enjoying a rare hot shower and thinking about the day, reflecting on how I could have acted or reacted better, determined to act differently, I decided to break out the lavender sugar scrub, a small birthday treasure given to my by one of my sisters. There was such a peace that decended on me and a determination to allow that peace to transend the next day.
Then… this morning after morning prayers and listening to the most calming music as I stepped into the shower I was greeted by a host of black ants gathering on my wall. After getting over my horror I proceed to clean the wall and follow the trail to identify the source of what attracted them, and yes, it lead me directly to the Lavender Sugar Scrub… sweetness interrupted!
Lesson learned… NO sugar scubs
